hi there, im vampie, and this is the story of how i met my best friend!!!!
it all began when i saw him at starbucks
he was a very handsome woof
i walked up to him and said how do you do whle stroking his cheek with my fingernail
he yellad get away from me you creep!!! he is such a tease
i walked away from him and sat at another table, thinking about how much i wantd him
i would bite him and drink his fluids
then we could be friends!!! :)
i quickly came up with a plan to get on his good side
1. follow him home
2. wait outside until early morning
3. break into his house and cook him breakfast in his own kitchen
this plan is flawless and only 3 easy steps! i thought to myself
i waited paitently for him to get up and leave the starbucks
when he did i followed him in my batmobile! (really just a honda civic but one can dream tee hee)
he was sneaky but i managed to follow him to his house and hide in a bush
it took a long time but it was finally morning!!!
i used my vampie powers to sneak into his house without anyone noticing (i am very sneaky <3)
i looked in his fridge for some yummy food to fill his nice woof belly
suddenly i heard a footstep on the staircase
it was him!
i quickly ran over to him and wrapped my arm around him
hello there woofie!!!! :) i said
what are you doing in my freaking house you stalker? he asked
playing hard to get i see i said how do you like this?
i brushed his knee with my finger before sinking my fangs into his thigh
thats not where the good stuff is but it gets them excited and thats fun for both of us XD
OW!!!!! he yelled bu i could tell he was enjoying it
i looked up at him and said can i have your fluids daddy 8) -that is a big eye emoji, i made it up myself because i am cool
just as he was about to say yes (i could tell by his big wide eyes) i put a finger to his lips
hush i said you don't need to say anything i know you want it
then he let out a cute little whimper! it was so kawaii! -i learned that word from anime!!!!!
i took him into his bedroom and laid him on his bed
shush its gonna be alright i said
then i moved over to his neck and bit him
he let out a little gasp that was so kawaii -i cant stop saying it!!!
and thats when he became my friend!
i still go to starbucks and make new friends and bring them back to meet woofie! we have so many in his house now its hard to move around!
you can never have to many friends though :)
woofie is the best though, he really gets me 
he is a really good listener! he hardly ever talks!
although he is starting to smell pretty bad! he should take a bath soon!! 
well thats enough of that vampie out! see ya later cool dudes!!! <3 :)